NTA. I thought that's the person doing the work, just wasn't sure where he'd be working; sometimes my English just says bye haha, Mechanic is a good word! why would you even want to remain family with a bunch of hazing, assaulting assholes? YNTA. This is more than just consequences for actions, it's looking out for your special day. NTA. NTA theyre bullying your fianc, the level of toxic masculinity is insane and I feel some insecurities about him being a college kid. These people are sick, and they stay in a pack to reinforce each others sickness. Or your future hubby might. You don't need them at your wedding and honestly? NTA. Wtf ! It has been great having her back and we've gotten so close again. ^ This exactly. Demanding they stop was step 1, but she should have done more. NTA. Talk with Tim about it and ask about his genuine opinion. Also your mom is an AH as well for enabling her husband and son. This is childish. Were your father and uncle also tested ? There was nothing boarderline about this it was harassment and they endangered his life on purpose. You need to ensue he understands you stick by him period. NTA. I literally stopped breathing 3 times as an infant/toddler from it. I have a sister 18f that got married to her highschool sweetheart. These pranks are blatant disrespect for OPs fianc and OP herself. What happens when they have a "friendly" tussle and just suffocate the guy 'cause they think he's just pretending to call for help? reddit, would i be the asshole if i uninvited her? NTA. I'd not want them anywhere near me. Asshole I f25 along with my two brothers Dean & Kevin (both 30s) went through rough time during our parents divorce, mom got married to my stepdad and we lived with him for years. If you dont, it might literally become the hill your fianc dies on because they might hide his inhaler again. Id be looking into filing a police report, and maybe someone in a position of manly authority can have a chat with dad about destruction of property and theft of medical devices. NTA but that will change in a hurry if you ever expose your fianc to any of these people again. Wouldnt it increase their respect for both of them as a couple if that despicable quartet come out of this wedding with the ULTIMATE wedding favour, aka mug shots and restraining orders? Disrespect to him is disrespect to you. THIS! After she hung up I asked my fiance if I made the wrong decision and je said it's my wedding and I get to decide eventually but I knew he said that because he's biased. This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. OP your brother father and uncle all sound terrible with a very strange idea of what constitutes manliness. This has to be fake. Your only punishment is not coming to the wedding? Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. I will say though - you NEED to go to bat for him more. I mean the main reason the men in my family hate doctors is because they dont listen. It's reasonable to protect your chosen family. Because frankly, If I was your fianc, stealing the inhaler would have been my breaking point and I would have called off the wedding completely. NTA, please protect your fiancee from these toxic, manipulative nasty people. Your family is driving the wedge between you. They might try to pull a family play where none of your family comes if they don't. OOP can fucking choke. Who know what theyll try to pull there? You should cut them off. We had a friend die from cancer, because he never went to the doctor for his yearly blood work and checkup. Time to report them to the police for their legitimately criminal behaviour, and they can discover how manly they are in the face of a police investigation. I'd hoped that was a ridiculous enough statement given the context to not need a /s but I guess it's not that far out of line from what these fuckbuckets actually think. This is not normal behavior. Youre a bad girlfriend. You dont hide an inhaler away from someone. !1' wankers for more than 45 seconds before my vagina closed up like The Chamber of Secrets. NTA and you made the right decision sticking up for your fianc as he is obviously madly in love with you to put up with your families bullshit. You continued to expose your fiance to this bullshit and not call a hard stop to it. Tell your fianc to stop doing things alone with them. Bullies are going to bully, but at least if you elope, they won't have the opportunity and no one else will be asking you where your dad and brother are. Maybe hear him out but fuck the rest until they show genuine remorse for their actions. I apologize for the slur against Neanderthals. They hid his damn inhaler for 3 days. Slashing tires isnt a prank. Its destruction of private property and vandalism. Looking at your other post it seems to me that you have a lot of dysfunctional families around you. I seriously wonder what kind of testosterone hell OP had to deal with growing up. It's obvious they have preconceived ideas on what a real man is (going so far to risk your fiance health). Live your life, be Happy, graduate, write on reddit, do whathever you want with YOUR Life. NTA. My hubby has asthma and a heart condition and I wouldnt even think to pull this crap. He has had some health complications straight after and I feel like they blame me for this as well. Actually I'd call OP TA for continuing to expose Tim to this. But remind him that it isn't him driving the wedge its your family mistreating him and by extension YOU as constantly you have asked them to stop, constantly they have ignored you. The spelling errors are driving me insane. "Like real men. He could have died while they played the prank hiding his inhaler. Slashing his tyres? The critical thing here is that OP HAS learned that this behavior isn't ok. Good job, OP, for defending your (edit: future) spouse against the abusive men in your family. They could and should be arrested for slashing tires and hiding the inhaler. Not sure if you are being sarcastic or one of the people who refuse to believe asthma is real, As a person who has it, I can confirm that it is easier to run out of energy compared to others and it is very important to keep an inhaler on you in case something happens and it does really help a lot , Inhaler have saved peoples lives many times. Like, Tim is well within his rights to leave this shitshow if she doesn't follow through (as he should be), but it sounds like she's been trying to get them to cut it out since the beginning and this was the final straw. NTA but you wont be if you dont take drastic measures to ensure this bullying stops. anyway, its my mums birthday next week and i was going to take the family out for dinner at a nice restaurant. He couldve literally died for a prank. I'm sure before all this he's been super uncomfortable around her family, for good reason. Im waiting for the post here titled Would I Be The Asshole If I broke off my engagement to a woman whose family has been terrorizing me?. They will seek out and tell a woman and will hope that woman will intercede on their behalf with a male boss/authority figure/doctor, but they will avoid going to the male authority figure themselves even when death is on the line. Theyve done damage to private property and have threatened the life of your fianc. ETA: please tell me they paid for the tyres. He wants to keep the peace and impress your family because he sees how much it means to you. Growing up i was a daddy's girl, I was his password, wallpaper and profile picture child. Remember OP grew up with this behavior. To be clear, her family is filled with horrible bullies. and our this. He has asthma and they could have killed him the first time they took it. After the tire slashing I would have called the cops and gone NC. NTA for uninviting them. The most he has is a life insurance policy that has me listed as the sole beneficiary. Just they just seem like big bullies to me. I doubt she will stand up to them further. The toxic masculinity is strong in this one. Yeah. I'm so sorry you went through that." ~ bdm90. And I'd say their behavior is not funny nor normal. They're going to drive him away from you and be all oh shucks. Threatened much because hes more intellectual than physical? He is young, maybe he will learn in time that the company we keep is, to some extent, an indicator of who we are. This doesn't even seem like bullying this seems like they're legit trying to kill himslashing his tyres? It's no joke and can be severely deadly. If someone slashed my tires they are paying or i am calling the police.the men in your family are immature bullies. Like wtf did I just read. What if OP has a child who wants to go to collage. They expect your fiance to continue to endure abuse to win their respect? Edit: fixed a typo saying tall instead of talk. OP grew up with this. NTA but considering the shit theyve put him through even before the inhaler prank, Im surprised it took you this long to put your foot down. Also think of the future. Dont re-invite them, and I would heavily consider going No Contact or Extremely Low Contact with these assholes. "What type of relationship does your dad have with your siblings? totally agree. That's what I was thinking & why I suggested elopement. If I were Tim I'd be questioning the marriage with a hostile family like that. Seriously consider if they're going to do this to your son, and if you want this energy in your life. Lived well past those issues. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. It was terrifying, and I was so mad that they hadnt told me it was going to happen. An inhaler is used for a life saving breathing issue. Dude's absolutely like this with avoiding healthcare of any kind (conspiracy nut who's spiraled imo in the last few years) and has bullshit rules about what he (and others) "should" be doing instead of "being lazy". At the time I commented, pretty much everyone was saying NTA. They would have just said he had left it at the campsite and tossed it back with his things or just lost it or something. They bullied him and did illegal things. Medical paternalism sucks. You don't invite your bullies to your wedding. this is wildly inappropriate at best, and really not funny. Your family is bullying him. I'd get the police involved for the slashed tires alone, and talk to a lawyer about the inhaler. He deserves a medal for that. You joke, but men let their toxic/insecure masculinity come between them and lifesaving healthcare. He sounds pathetic. Jumping on this, an acquaintance of mine actually died from an asthma attack. Cut ties with everyone, save your poor poor fiance more pain then the abuse he already went trough for you, and apologize to him in behalf of your family. Oh wait. NTA. Your fiance is not an opportunity for your uncle and brothers to demonstrate their masculinity. You cant be around these people at all, and you sure as hell cant ask Tim to risk his health and safety for the sake of pretending that your family is just a little quirky or whatever. Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Strength is setting boundaries, power is enforcing those boundaries. This doesnt sound like pranking but more like bullying. Who carries his weight in the relationship and household? You need to take your fianc and get the hell away from the pack, because theyre already turning on you now that youre stepping out of line and it will only get more vicious. Please OP, have someone you trust or can hire to be security at your wedding. They are just immature jerks. I mentioned this in another comment below but I had to get all my tires replaced last October right before I went on vacation and that cost ran over 600. just an umbrella term or have multiple meanings. Slashing tyres and hiding lifesaving medication is objectively not funny and is literally just bullying. On their side it's just righteous indignation. These jokes kept escalating. I hope that they see the error of their ways and apologized to Tim but until then, I guess you might have to go no contact. They arent pranksters, theyre abusive assholes. The way he calls you failure is super not okay You do what is right for you and go ahead and uninivite him. 5th house stellium meaning; how to handle being dumped with dignity; send a wave on facebook; international scout.He wrote: " AITA for uninviting my mom from my . Exactly what she should tell them. A place where it's obvious OP is the asshole. Also this is really concerning that you dont see that aspect. NTA. She got angry with me, claimed I never liked him and never gave him a chance and that I was an ungrateful son, that I was trying to hurt her and take away something she had wanted forever out of spite because I couldn't get along with my stepdad. And if my husband had asthma dad would lower his expectations, not attempt murder. Of course not, bullies are inherently cowards. A catharsis for the frustrated moral philosopher in all of us, and a place to finally find out if you were wrong in an argument that's been bothering you. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: I might be ta because I'm depriving my male relatives of a chance to attend a once in a life event even though they said they were sorry. He's an American actually fortunate enough to have access to healthcare and is bragging that he doesn't get it, despite obviously needing it? "AITA for letting my family bully my fiance to a point of endangering his mental and physical health?". not slashing his tires and hiding his inhaler the latter of which could literally have caused a medical emergency. With the cost of the tow and labor you might be talking more than a thousand. This enraged him and our relationship never recovered. And to also add that theyre belittling his mental health too. Not to mention, destroying someone else's property is not a prank, it's criminal behavior. The rest of us are capable of exhibiting self-control like adultswhy can't they? 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